10 Reasons Why I’m Cheating On You by Nova Giovanni

  1. You’re always accusing me of it. If I’m already getting treated like I’m cheating on you– why not do it and prove you right? You always think you’re right anyway.
  2. When you met me, I was with another woman. This is karma at its finest. What I’ll do WITH you, I’ll do TO you.
  3. You don’t do the things you used to do. You would cook at least 5 nights a week. Now, McDonalds knows what I’m going to ask for before I place my order.
  4. You reject my advances in bed. My sexy female co-workers are ALWAYS flirting with me. I don’t HAVE to come home to your rejection.
  5. You’re slacking on your appearance. You were in shape when we first got together. Now, you’re JUST a shape – a circle, to be exact.
  6. You let our love life become your whole life and now depend on me for everything. If you caught me cheating – then what? You’re not going anywhere.
  7. Sometimes, I just want to know that I’ve still got it. You never compliment me. Knowing I can conquer another woman really boosts my ego.
  8. Its so easy to do. You think I spend hours on Facebook checking on my cousins’ lives? No! I’m waiting for Big Booty Judy to accept my friend request.
  9. I need variety in the bed. You never want to switch things up. Its like pizza. I love pizza, but don’t want it EVERY night.
  10. I’m a man. I REALLY don’t need a reason. The last 9 things were just excuses.

 Sorry, (that I got caught)

   Nova Giovanni