From the book, ‘The Mis-Edukation of the Nigga’ by Nova Giovanni….
Dear Deadbeat Dad,
Hello there, young man with your priorities misconstrued. Those are some nice rims on your car. Man, you STAY wearing the latest sneakers out. In fact, you know ALL the release dates to all the new shoes. Do you know your child’s birthday, though? Do you know the first tooth they lost? Was it a top tooth or bottom tooth. How are their grades in school? In fact, do you even know what school your child attends? Sit down, let me talk to you.
What does your child mean to you? Chances are, even though you aren’t there – you mean the world to them. Are they someone you have an emotional attachment to, or are they just a wallet sized photo you like to show off to prove that your sperm works? Did you stop caring about your child when you stopped having sex with your child’s mother? We’ve got to do better.
I’m not going to preach to you like someone who hasn’t been there – because I have, and I’m still here. Stop making excuses as to why you’re not spending time with your child. You say to yourself, “I don’t have any money”… or “I can’t buy them (insert item here)”. Let me tell you something, THE BEST THING WE CAN SPEND ON OUR CHILDREN IS OUR TIME. They won’t remember what you bought them, they’ll remember how you made them feel. Therefore, don’t let your child feel like they are dispensable. If you can’t give your child a gift, give your child a kiss.
Now, you’re with your new girlfriend. Playing with your girlfriend’s child. Don’t you feel at least a LITTLE GUILTY? Seriously! What about the child YOU helped bring into this world? Does that trouble your spirit at all? Just know that if you aren’t a male role model for your child – someone else WILL BE. Whether it is a celebrity, neighborhood dope dealer, or the man that physically abuses your child’s mother and keeps them awake at night with their arguments.
Was your father there? If not, how did that make you feel? As a man, we try to suppress those feelings. But, you know it makes you feel a certain way. As a child, he probably made you feel like you wasn’t worth his time. Perhaps, he only provided you with empty promises, didn’t deliver and NOW as an adult you really don’t get your hopes up for anything. Lets break the cycle.
Fathers… Call your child now right now and tell them, “I Love You”….
I Love You,
Twitter – @NovaGiovanni
Facebook – Nova Giovanni
- Grow Up and Settle Down by Nova Giovanni (novagiovanni.com)
- The Quiet Genocide in Inner City Communities by Nova Giovanni (novagiovanni.com)
- Tennessee’s deadbeat dads: The three men who have fathered 78 children with 46 different women… an (whitenewsnow.com)