By Dave Cruz
This goes out to the beautiful girls…
Too often I hear statements which echo a similar sentiment, something along the lines of:
“Oh I just know he’s my Mr. Wrong, but it’s so hard to turn away from him…”
If you’ve heard a statement like this before from a female friend, coworker, or family member, then you know of the age-old story which depicts a female who is apparently aware that her male partner is “Mr. Wrong;” a guy who has no redeemable qualities, and serves no positive purpose in her life.
Quite often, this so-called Mr. Wrong also happens to wreak havoc in this female’s life by cheating, misusing her money and time, causing a riff(s) within her family, and never valuing her opinion/worth. This causes her to deal with constant emotional distress, and leads her to the understanding that he is indeed, a “Mr. Wrong.”
If the fact that men like this exist isn’t bizarre enough, we find an equally bizarre set of circumstances when it comes to said female’s handling of Mr. Wrong. To the average logical human being, it is 100% clear at this point in the story that Mr. Wrong should be ejected from the woman’s life, thus ending her emotional distress and freeing her from all the trouble he has caused her.
But no! According to these women, it is “too hard to turn away from Mr. Wrong” because there is some mysterious, unexplainable force keeping them from ever breaking up with him. So, we often find the female putting up with Mr. Wrong’s nonsense – while consistently adjusting her lifestyle and her psyche so that she might fit him into her life in the most comfortable way possible, all because there is “just something about him.”
To this strange phenomenon I offer a simple, yet important solution:
Cut the crap, hoes.
Do you really think that all of us in the world are as dumb as you are to believe that there is a so-called Mr. Wrong in your life, but you can’t seem to push him away because there’s something about him? Do I look retarded?
There are two major issues at play here, and the first concerns this idea that you, as a female, can recognize and acknowledge the fact that this man is Mr. Wrong in your life but yet you refuse to remove him.
Nothing (and I mean NOTHING) is dumber than hearing someone say that they KNOW something is bad for them, but they can’t get rid of it.
Tell me, woman: if you had a cancerous tumor in your body, and you KNEW it was going to kill you, would you keep it around because there was something unique and interesting about the tumor? According to your Mr. Wrong equation, the answer is yes. “Oh there’s something so mysterious and unique about the way this tumor makes my body sick and forces me to get chemotherapy. Even though I hate being bald now, there’s something about this tumor that I can’t put my finger on… (Especially since I’m too weak to move my fingers now anyway).”
Again, if this guy is so wrong, anyone in their right mind would not hesitate to drop the mufucka like the New Year’s Eve Ball at Times Square. But not you. You don’t have a right mind.
Which leads me to my next issue…
Implicit in a statement like the one mentioned above is the idea that this “Mr. Wrong” is with a woman who is apparently a Ms. Right… Right?
I mean, how else would he be a Mr. Wrong if you weren’t the Ms. Right he was never meant to be with? If you were Ms. Wrong, you wouldn’t be complaining about Mr. Wrong ‘cause y’all obviously got married, since you carry his last name and all.
See, the problem herein lies with the notion that this guy happens to be such a screw-up, but you honestly believe that, on the flipside, none of your screws are loose.
The fact is: He may be Mr. Wrong, but you, young lady, ain’t Ms. Right.
You are Ms. Something Is Wrong With Me Too.
The sooner you can understand this, the better off you’ll be. In no way am I discrediting the idea that this man in your life, despite all his hang-ups, may be special to you in some way. If we refer back to my example: it’s true, you might actually LIKE tumors in your body, who knows. Hey, go nuts. I don’t care. Some people enjoy pain, and some people just don’t know what’s best for them.
However, I will not allow you to believe that you are this “Ms. Right” who deserves my pity and attention because you’re unfortunately stuck in some inescapable whirlwind of confused love. Stop that bullshit. You’re just as fucked up as he is, and you should embrace it, like the crackhead who holds up a sign saying “Please give me money so I can buy more crack. God Bless you.”
I respect the honest crackhead more than I respect the delusional crack pot who thinks she’s right and he’s wrong. If he’s a thief, you’re his getaway driver. If he gets a 740 on his SATs, you’re the fucked up calculator he was using during the math portion of the test. If he’s out on the street eating peoples’ faces, you’re the one in Rite-Aid buying his bath salts. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and in this case y’all ain’t right at all. Y’all are just one big ass Wrong.
In closing, I quote Mary J. Blige from her song, so aptly titled, “Mr. Wrong”:
Me and Mr. Wrong get along so good (so good)
Even though he breaks my heart so bad (so bad)
We got a special thing going on
Me and Mr. Wrong (mister wrong)
Even if I try, no, I never could
Give him up cause his loves like that
Ain’t no way that I’m moving on
I love my Mr. Wrong
Well spoken, Ms. Blige.
That’s why your dumb ass will never be Aretha Franklin. R-E-S-P-E-C-T bitches!
p.s – This was not written to be a humor piece. This is something that actually bugs the shit outta me.
p.s.s – If you have a friend like this, please feel free to let her know, explicitly, that she’s a dumb ass. This is ok for two reasons; a) it’s true, so who cares what she thinks, and b) you’ll be fine because she’ll probably do some dumb hoe shit in response anyway, like post an angry status on Facebook about the whole situation, i.e. “Deez NUT a$$ b!xtchez oUt huRr qoinq @ MAH nek BuT dEY ScAreD 2 C mee inn da sTreeTz doe”
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**Special thanks to Nova Giovanni for being a great resource, and an inspiration to share thoughts with people all around the world